I’m Dreaming of the Holidays Being Over


I am one very short step away from madness. One candy cane, one flickering light, one goddamned Christmas carol – one more reference to “the season for . . .” and I will flip over the abyss and start handing out pamphlets detailing the “pagan” origins of whatever winter holiday is being referenced. Holiday? Meh. A holiday is an extended period of time when one is free from personal commitments beyond committing to sunny days lying prostrate in a hammock with a stack of books, a pitcher of iced tea (long island or similar), and a loaf of fresh, steamy bread. It is not a frantic excursion to a shopping venue with inadequate cash and starry-eyed hopes. Nor is it three cocktail parties in one evening, the hosts of each of which expect you to stay for (read: help with) dinner.

Misanthropic much?

It’s two days after “Thanksgiving”- that uniquely American celebration of the whitewashing of genocide and land snatching – and already I am overwhelmed with the need to vacuum up tinsel, smite radios, and smack the next Jehovah’s* Witness who harasses me through the window while I’m trying to get into the shower in the morning.

The “Christmas Season” should, as most other holidays do, reign itself in. Pick a day. Heck, a week. I’ll give you people a week. Just release me from this yearly three month cycle of stress and ugliness in which the topic of what Person A is buying for Person B somehow has become socially acceptable. Go do your communism somewhere else. Privately.

N.B. I am excepting eggnog and all eggnog related products from this post specifically. That stuff should be sold year-round as a true expression of goodwill toward all people.

*For the sake of all that is unholy, people! “Jehovah” does not, in any way, semantic or otherwise, relate to any of the names of god given in the bible. Which means that you are witnessing a god that does not exist even in the very scriptures you purport to use believe. Has this simply never occurred to you, or do you just not care?


~ by heycarahe on November 24, 2007.

One Response to “I’m Dreaming of the Holidays Being Over”

  1. It’s two days after “Thanksgiving”- that uniquely American celebration of the whitewashing of genocide and land snatching

    Yep. The “We’re grateful that there were people here before we arrived who were kind enough to share food they needed for themselves so we didn’t starve” origins of this ‘holiday’ have long gone by the wayside in so many social circles I’ve inhabited, honky that I am.

    It’s like that gratitude, that “Thanksgiving” (which is always given to GOD, not to the natives!) somehow makes up for the treatment of native people up to that point and from that point forward.

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